Playing slight catchup

Oops... missed a day posting. It happens. I had to run to Nashville for an appointment and then home. Did a few other things, like be bad. We went to Chuy's to eat. I got fish tacos, which is not so bad. Later at the Women in Faith meeting we ended up having lots of tasty Mediterranean food. I had lots of tabulah and some hummus, plus a few other things. I tried to eat smart but it was all so tasty. Anyway, I think we needed a break for just a day.

Last time we did Weight Watchers we had one meal a week not count. We often hit Chef Wangs for their all you could at buffet. Still ate smart but did eat lots. It did not majorly impact our weight loss as we did it on the first or second day of the cycle, so plenty of time to pay for our sins. I am hoping the same trend holds true.

In other news, I am getting my passport today. That will be good as I will then legally be female. Just another hoop to jump through but that is good. At least it will be done.

Worked on the ideas for Destination over dinner last night, talking about a few of our issues with where we have let the group get to. Hopefully we can make some changes and that will help with the spiritual side of things more. I have been feeling a bit lacking lately and I am not happy about that but we are working on the issue, so that is something.

Anyway... here are the charts.

Monday 24 Jan 2011
Start Weight: 260.8
Weigh in: 256 Total Loss: Wk 0
Points allowed: 38 Mo 4.8
Extra Points: 49 Overall 12.8
Exercise Points: 0

Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5

Breakfast: nothing 0 points

Total 0 points
Points Left: 38

Lunch: 2 Chili Cheese dogs 12 points
1c Choc Milk 4 points

Total 16 points
Points Left: 22

Dinner: Rice 4 points
Chicken 3 points
Sauce 1 points
Vegetables 0 points
Pineapple 2 points

Total 10 points
Points Left: 12

Snack: Ice Cream 3 points
Hot dog w/ sauerkraut 4 points
1c Choc Milk 4 points
3 M and M 1 point

Total 12 points
Points Left: 0


Exercise: Shopping 3 points

Total + 3 points

Daily Total: 0
Extra Points Carry over: 49
Exercise Points Carry over: 3

And Tuesday

Tuesday 25 Jan 2011
Start Weight: 260.8
Weigh in: 256 Total Loss: Wk 0
Points allowed: 38 Mo 4.8
Extra Points: 49 Overall 12.8
Exercise Points: 0

Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5

Breakfast: Sandwich 6 points
Coffee (1 tsp sugar) 0 points

Total 6 points
Points Left: 32

Lunch: Chuy’s

Total points
Points Left:

Dinner: Arabic Food
Total points
Points Left:

Snack: leftovers

Total points
Points Left:


Exercise: points

Total + points

Daily Total: 0
Extra Points Carry over: 29
Exercise Points Carry over: 0

New Week

Well, weight loss for the first week is 4.8 pounds. Pretty awesome. I am happy to be completely out of the 260's again. Here's hoping that we can maintain this over the long term. One week is great but it is only one week. Twelve weeks will be impressive.

Anyway... here's yesterday's chart.

Sunday 23 Jan 2011
Start Weight: 260.8
Weigh in: 256 Total Loss: Wk 4.8
Points allowed: 39 Mo 4.8
Extra Points: 37 Overall 4.8
Exercise Points: 1

Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5

Breakfast: nothing 0 points

Total 0 points
Points Left: 39

Lunch: Beef Ravioli 12 points

Total 12 points
Points Left: 27

Dinner: Cheeseburger 15 points
Fries 8 points
Soda 4 points

Total 27 points
Points Left: 0

Snack: Pear 0 points
Chili Cheese Dog 6 points
½ cantaloupe 0 points
1 doughnut hole 1 point
1 c Choc Milk 4 points

Total 11 points
Points Left: -11


Exercise: Nothing 0 points

Total + 1 points

Daily Total: -10
Extra Points Carry over: 27
Exercise Points Carry over:

Another Day

Here is yesterday's chart. Today is not starting out well. I got up early to go do something and mad lunch for myself. It was a can of Chef Boyarde Beef Ravioli, 12 points. Since then I have been pretty sick. I am not a fan of that. I am overly cold and my stomach is really jumpy.

Yesterdays house cleaning was good. The living room and our bedroom look pretty good and have plenty of legroom in them, which is nice. Kicking things when walking is not optimal. It is definitely helping with the Feng Shui.

Moon wasn't too bad. Talked about the need to reflect and look forward, both as individuals and the group. I think there needs to be a change but I am not sure what. Too many of our rituals are cookie cutter and thus have less soul. I am not down with that. There is something I need that I am not completely getting and thus things need to change. Part of it, I think, is the fact that I haven't done a blessing way in a while. That might help. I also probably need to do more meditation.

I have some more job leads which I am going to send off. One is with the VA med center here in Murfreesboro and the other is in Nashville with the American Cancer society. Either would be nice, because I totally need a job. The no income thing has gotten old. We are surviving but that isn't the same as living.

I need to get my act together this week and send out to another agent. There are a lot out there and hopefully I will find one. Not having Transitioning Home sold makes me feel like I am in some literary limbo. That is not a good place to be. It is a good story but it needs to see the light of day. I guess persistence pays off as in everything.

Anyway... here is yesterday's chart.

Saturday 22 Jan 2011
Start Weight: 260.8
Weigh in: 256.4 Total Loss: Wk 4.4
Points allowed: 39 Mo 4.4
Extra Points: 37 Overall 4.4
Exercise Points: 11

Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5

Breakfast: Chocolate Milk 4 points

Total 4 points
Points Left: 35

Lunch: Chicken 3 points
½ cup mashed potatoes 3 points

Total 6 points
Points Left: 29

Dinner: Cheeseburger 9 points
Fries 6 points

Total 15 points
Points Left: 14

Snack: PB&J 8 points
Milk 3 points

Total 11 points
Points Left: 3


Exercise: House Cleaning 1 points

Total + 1 points

Daily Total: 3
Extra Points Carry over: 39
Exercise Points Carry over: 1

Friday's Chart

Here is the chart for Friday. We did not get to the Y because of scheduling issues and the fact that we ended up sleeping late.

Friday 21 Jan 2011
Start Weight: 260.8
Weigh in: 256.4 Total Loss: Wk 4.4
Points allowed: 39 Mo 4.4
Extra Points: 37 Overall 4.4
Exercise Points: 11

Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5

Breakfast: 1 egg scrambled in oil 3 points
1 piece wheat bread 2 points
1 piece Pepper jack cheese 2 points
1 cup Pacific Chai Spiced latte 2 points

Total 9 points
Points Left: 30

Snack: large apple 0 points

Total 0 points
Points Left: 30

Lunch: Jersey Mike’s Super Sub 15 point

Total 15 points
Points Left: 15



Dinner: Ministrone 3 points
Taters 4 points
No Pudge Brownie 3 points
Milk 3 points

Total 13 points
Points Left: 2

Snack: Cheese and crackers 4 points
PB&J 8 points
Milk 3 points

Total 15 points
Points Left: -13


Exercise: None 0 points

Total + 0 points

Daily Total: -13
Extra Points Carry over: 37
Exercise Points Carry over: 0

Yesterday's Info

Well, here is yesterday's form. I keep tinkering with these so expect things to change.

Friday 20 Jan 2011
Weigh in: 257.6 Total Loss: Wk 3.2
Points allowed: 39 Mo 3.2
Extra Points: 43 Overall 3.2
Exercise Points: 11

Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5

Breakfast: Cream of Wheat 3 points
Hard Boiled Egg 2 points

Total 5 points
Points Left: 34

Lunch: 2 Crunchy Fresco Tacos 8 points
½ Mexican Pizza 7 points
1 Chicken Taco 4 point

Total 19 points
Points Left: 15

Snack: Chocolate milk (1 cup) 4 points

Total 4 points
Points Left: 11


Dinner: Chicken 4 points
Mashed Taters 3 points
Vegtable 1 points
Vegtable 0 points
Brownie 4 points
Milk 3 points

Total 15 points
Points Left: -4

Snack: Peanut Butter 3 points
Bread 2 points
Milk (1/2 cup) 1 points

Total 6 points
Points Left: -10


Exercise: Housework, Moderate 4 points

Total + 4 points

Daily Total: -10 – 4 - 6 = 0
Extra Points Carry over: 37
Exercise Points Carry over: 0

Things are looking good. Weight is dropping and exercise is happening. Something lit a fire under Cindy's butt and that is a good thing as we are now working towards losing the weight and getting healthy, since they are different things.

The other thing going on is that w are working on decluttering the house and cleaning it up for Chinese New Year. She is really working hard on the Craft Room and that is helping to break up some of the energy stagnation. That can help us overall in that the House energy will flow better and thus our own energy will flow better. At least that is the theory.

Things can change

I have started Weight Watchers again and am hoping it is more successful than last time. I did lose about 20 pounds but then I ended up on Remeron and swelled like a balloon. I hated that and ever since then my body has been soaking up the weight. That sucks. So here we go again.

We are also hitting the Y more recently, trying to get there daily but at least going every other day. The workout is nice and is helpful. There are good hopes for getting healthy and losing the weight.

Also what is interesting is that my body seems to be craving Martial Arts. I keep wanting to flow into moves that I haven't used in years. This isn't Tai Chi, this is more the Hard Art stuff like Hapkido and Shotokan. It is fairly strange but I can live with it. I guess at some point I need to just relax and let my body do what it wants. there may actually be a reason.

Here is my form for yesterday, containing the food and the exercise. This is how I am currently tracking the points. Enjoy.

Thursday 19 Jan 2011
Weigh in: 257.6
Points allowed: 39
Extra Points: 43
Exercise Points: 0

Total Loss:
Wk 3.2
Mo 3.2
Overall 3.2

Measurements:
Bust 55.5
Waist 49.75
Hips 53
Arms 14.5
Thigh 27.5

Panties: 9
Bra 46 D
Pants: 26
Top: 20

Breakfast: None 0 points

Total 0 points
Points Left: 39

Lunch: Baked Lays 3 points
6” Chicken Pesto Roll 10 points
6” CA Hummer 6 point
Lrg White Choc Macadamia 6 points

Total 25 points
Points Left: 14

Dinner: Salmon 6 points
Broccoli & Cauliflower 0 points
Basmati Rice 4 points
Brownie 5 points

Total 15 points
Points Left: -1

Exercise: 15 minutes walking 1 points
20 minutes weights 2 points
30 minutes swimming, breaststroke 9 points

Total + 12 points

Daily Total: -1-1= 0
Extra Points Carry over: 43
Exercise Points Carry over: 11

So things are starting to look good on this end at least in terms of getting started on both weight loss and exercise. Cindy is thinking of doing the Couch to 5k program and that sounds like it could be fun. I'll let you know how that is going.

The biggest thing I need to work on now is Spirit stuff. I am working on Jobs, getting published and the like but my Spirit work needs help. I do meditate some at the Y while I am in the steam room. I find it nice and relaxing. I will try to incorporate more of that into things.

Anyway... thanks for listening.

Update and musing on Portion Porblems

Well, Whedonfest is over and now time to get back into the serious work of trying to fix issues in my life.

Lets see... the Job fair gave me some interesting options as well as show me a MA program that sounds interesting and a good use of my skills. So there is some hope on the job front.

Ankle still hurts, so a lot of good exercise options are out. I need to get that looked at but the MRI isn't until 21 Aug and that means it isn't until probably September that something will be done about that. Totally fucking sucks. Maybe I just need to ignore the VA and treat this myself? It is worth considering.

My faith is going well, but I really should meditate more. I feel better after doing it so there really isn't a reason that I am not meditating except for the fact that my depression is making me want to hide from the world rather than deal with it. Gotta get over that crap.

House is semi trashed, but duh... Whedonfest. It did really well this year, but we do need to catch up on making the home environment serene...

So there you have that update. Now onto the other stuff.

Okay, so I am at 261 right now and that is disturbing. I hate this craziness that’s going on with my weight. It is really bothering me, especially because it isn’t like I eat badly. I like vegetables and salads, and all sorts of good for you food. Hell eating just chicken or fish would not be a huge hardship. The problem for me seems to be portion control. I don’t eat a lot of deserts or empty calories but I eat a lot of normal food.

I like food and truly enjoy eating excellent food. I am not sure as to why I seem to be more focused on eating larger amounts of food than I should but I need it to stop. I suppose I should get to weighing and measuring all of my food, so I only eat single portions and the like, but I am worried that I will fail. I guess that is a common worry for most anyone doing any weight loss plan. I just don’t seem to have a good idea in my head as to what exactly good portion sizes are. I know the pack of cards and those other measures but in a lot of ways that doesn’t really seem to help me. I guess I need to hunt that all down again and start seriously following it.

The other issue tied into this is that I seem to be the one in my family that ‘finishes’ food, thus getting extra. I have a difficult time turning down food or not completing my meals. Part of it has to do with the fact that my mother constantly talked about eating her monies worth. Paying for food and then not eating ALL of it really bugged her. She talked about that wasting money, which it is, but the message I took was not avoid over ordering but rather eat everything and then some, so there is a good value for your money spent.

Growing up, my mom loved taking my brother Brian and my best friend Tony out to all you could eat places. The joke about ‘You here four hour. You scare my wife.’ seemed to be very true in relation to our meals. Granted teenaged boys really burn calories but my mom did get a smug satisfaction when we would go someplace like Chesapeake Seafood House and eat all their food. The place stopped having an all you can eat night after we went there for the third time and ate for something like two + hours. It was obscene. But my mom considered it a great value.

I love getting the all you can eat sushi at Cathay and Cindy and I actually sit back and calculate the value of what I have eaten versus the value of what we paid. My personal best was a little over 60 dollars of sushi for 14 dollars. That is a lot of sushi. Now I don’t feel so bad about that, as sushi is not really that bad for you and that much sushi didn’t blow my weight watchers points for the day. But it does let me know that I have developed a similar mindset.

I have been proud lately of actually eating my meal and leaving food, especially eating out. Part of that is the ever increasing size of portions and the other bit is that I recognize that I DO NOT need to eat everything on my plate, that getting full is a great stopping point. I don’t like feeling bloated and way over fed. I get really food coma-ish and that is not comfortable.

Places I really enjoy the all you can eat thing and it not be a problem is at Ruby Tuesday. I can eat huge amounts of salad and be fine. The only bad things I eat there are the cottage cheese and maybe pickled beets. I really don’t put too much extra cheese on the salads as well. So that is not too bad, but otherwise, I really do eat a hell of a lot, volume wise. I need to eat less volume and I am sure that alone will have a major impact on my weight. Maybe even reducing the bad cards and sticking with the complex carbs the body needs. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like nothing but a hog, stuffing itself for market and that isn’t good for anyone.

I hate this shit.

So I am going to try and reduce my portion sizes. That will hopefully help. Add in eating better and that can hopefully really help my weight. I have a lot of hopefuls here and those are never guarantees, but you gotta try. I don’t want gastric bypass, but if I can’t do this and I keep gaining then it might be the only decent option I have available. Man that sucks. Effort first then surgery… The fact that I am even considering it distresses me but I am aware that I don’t want to heat into the upper twos or the threes and low fours that Brian got to. What a crap time to realize that HRT probably shifted my metabolism closer to my mom, sisters and brothers. So it goes.

Any way, here’s hoping that I can make this work.

Yet again

Well, I am going to start trying the weight watcher thing again today. It did work, up until about 2.5 months so I'm not sure what that is all about, but I am trying to figure that out. I plan on doing some stretches and crunches later, but that covers it. I am waiting to see what happens, job search wise, as I have heard nothing back. I keep telling myself that it has only been a week since things were finalized. 11 days, mind you, but only one business week. Maybe I should refocus and look at Agents.

So anyway, here we go again.

Just how often do I need to hit restart?

Am I a terrible blogger or what?

Any way...

I am going to start this again. I think my Beloved is right in the recovery track. That might be the best way to face this and indeed the term Jihad does have its roots in fighting against ourselves to better connect to God/ Allah/ FSM/ whoever... The Greater Jihad is all about fighting against your urge to do the easy path, to not put in the work for something. And recovery is all about fighting inertia and doing the work. This isn't going to be easy but it will be worth it, if I can get off my fat ass and do it.

Biggest problem right now is that my ankle is screwed up to the point where walking is less than enjoyable, and that is for short trips like the bathroom. But there are things I can do, like crunches, stretches, working with weights and the like. It is at least a start on that front. Also diet is also something that can be addressed more and there I feel hampered by Katie and her extreme pickiness. We really need to get past her issues and cook for ourselves. When we have done that Katie has been fed as well, but we eat decent.

Weight Watchers was working, ish, but not well enough, as it was easy to skip things or loose track. I think it might be worth following up on but I don't know. I do know that we have to fairly radically change things if we want this to work.

Still no joy on the job front. I am finishing up my application for a job and if I got it, it would be great, but I am unsure as to what my options are. I need to actually get going on the publishing front, to try and sell my novel, because that would be good. I feel conflicted. The VA might be sending me back to school, which would be lovely, as that would mean money, but again, going back to school would be both fun and stressful.

Life is kind of like that... you know...

Irritation

Okay, for the last several weeks I have been not doing the program correctly, like I had lost interest in the Weight Watchers thing. I am aware that contrary to the way the program works, one meal can be 'free' within the first two days and then you work from there. Problem is that I have basically been taking the weekends off from the diet. Not a very helpful process when attempting something along these lines.

The other issue along these lines is that I have not been writing my food down or tracking my points. And lo and behold... I am gaining weight. So I am going to try to get back on to that as it kept me mindful of what I was eating and so I didn't eat too much. This whole thing really irritates me.

Granted I am aware that sacrifices need to be made in order to loose weight, but there are days I want to eat everything. I mean Friday I ate 3.5 grilled cheese sandwiches. That is a bit on the overkill side. Tasty, but overkill. And with things like that I am a mite surprised that I am gaining currently. Bah!

In terms of work... well, that has not been going well. I do have a possibility. A friend of mine in the Pants gave me the name of her company. They like to hire ex-Intel folk, like myself to work on various projects for the Military. That sounds tempting, especially as income is sexy. I will look things over, put together a resume and see what happens. It's just that resumes never really cover all of my skills nor how they interrelate. Makes me crazy.

Need to tinker with a few combat scenes to make sure they feel right and then I need to send off a letter to an agent. Scares me silly, but if I want to get paid I gotta play the game.

That's it for now as I got other things churning in me head...

Ugh...

Well, I finished Soldier Boy, which is most excellent. Now I can start hunting Agents. If it sells I can make this money I have heard so much about!

Uhm... haven't really been recording my eating this week so I am a bit afraid of what my weight is going to be. Recording the food and following the points really works well. I highly recommend it.

I cleaned part of the garage and then moved some rock and wood to frame the front garden. That was very sweaty work, so it was probably good for me.

So that's where today is.

Thanks,

Teh Suckage

So yesterday was a bad food day as I ate fast food and table of fire. I am certain I completely screwed up my points for the week but I couldn't care. There were other things going on.

I got my CPAP machine and that tried to kill me. Last night as was able to sleep with it on for a little bit and that was good. Maybe tonight I will be able to wear it longer still. If it fixes the whole sleeping issue then it will be utterly worth it. I just get Army flashbacks when I put it on, since the easiest way to do that is like putting on a gasmask. So that is a bit odd.

The other big change is on the job front. The VA basically reoppened my file and now I am completely eligible for Voc Rehab benefits again. The problem is that I have no idea what the hell I want to do. Even though I keep telling myself I really am not all that skilled, I am aware that I have a huge range of skills, talents and interests. This is not an easy choice.

I might... might... be able to get them to pay for an MFA. There are loads of other bits of training I can do as well. I am in freefall and unsure which chute I want to put on. Kind of dorky like that. Now if only I could come up with a decent plan for the work. It would be nice.

So I am wandering around in a daze from them allowing this as well as trying to figure out what to do. It is making me a bit crazy all things considered. Hell, the VA is even helping me get a job, at a new VA call center. It will be a GS job which means awesome benefits, decent pay and if I stay in the government I can retire with a good retirement package in something on the order of 14y 9m since my military time counts for that purpose. Weird hunh?

Week in Review

Not a bad week for Weight Watchers. I pretty much stayed in points and this was the week of Hobbitpalooza, where I ate all day, but all told I did lose 2 pounds. That takes my weight down 16 from where I was when I completely lost it. I made it back under 250, finally, and am at 249, which is pretty cool. So the Weight Watchers is working. It feels slow, but it is moving.

I need to exercise more, which will have an effect on my eating and on my weight loss, though its biggest effect will be to my health. Getting out of breath doing a lot of nothing is very frustrating, but then again after I left the Military I let myself collapse. Add to that the HRT and there you go. It is weird though that when I do Tai Chi, I have a lot of issues with the exercise portion of things but once I get into the teaching or the sparring I am fine and can do a hell of a lot more than I can otherwise. Odd and probably related to the Martial Arts mindset. I really need to get off my fat but shrinking ass as do something. Well, the VA has me slated to see KT, so that might help.

One thing I have noticed is that I have been feeling a bit discontent and I'm not sure why. It is probably related to feeling like I haven't done anything with my life as of late. I have done a lot and have written a huge amount which is only making my style better, which can get me to be able to crank out good work. We'll see how that goes. I guess I am mainly restless and there doesn't seem to be a rhyme nor reason why I feel that way. Hopefully I'll figure it out at some point.

Still no work, which sucks. I want a job that is decent and pays me well and can allow me to keep writing. Is that too much to ask? Honestly...

Catchup

Life has been crazy and I have been doing a lot of writing, sorry.

Lets see, I am managing to do more exercising off and on, which is a good thing. Weight Watchers is going well. the house is clean more often than not and things are going well. So not much there.

My current weight is 252, so that is a 13 pound drop from my recent high of 265. I am just looking forward to being under 250 again. Granted the weight loss is not going very quick at the moment, but I figure that has more to do with lack of exercise kicking my metabolism up than anything else. If I can up that, by exercising everyday at least a little, than I think my metabolism will do more and have a bigger impact on my health. It can't hurt... right?

As for work... I had my phone interview for Verizon and I have no idea yet where I stand. I thought I gave a good interview, but I am not sure. If I passed this I apparently have an in person interview. I would really like the job as it has awesome benefits and the pay is great. However, I am basically at the point where income is good and that's it.

So there you have it... what I have been up to.

Good Friday

Well, I am certainly doing better today. I have not been nauseous at all, which is a good thing. I have done well with points and even made a really kick ass pasta sauce with three huge cloves of garlic, onions and canned tomatoes. It was yummy and had a nice kick after I was done seasoning it. Had it over penne with foccia. Tasty. I did pretty well this week, ending with flex points left over and everything. How cool is that?

So I am kind of looking forward to the weigh in tomorrow. I do hope that I have managed to lose those 3 pounds I gained back and then some. That would certainly make me feel better. Tomorrow's dinner though is going to be a free meal as it is Seder and I want to have all of the tastiness as well as my wine. So that should be fun. If I am good the rest of the week I should still lose.

The day of suck

The Weight Watchers is still going well and I made a lovely discovery... 2 pieces of sushi are 1 point. So I can go to the all you can eat place and eat all I can. I like that idea. Can't have too many rolls as they are higher in points but just straight sushi is pretty cheap. Big fan there.

Today has sucked because I have been sick all day, having vomited earlier. This is not a good thing and I am hoping that I can eat more later. The Chicken Noodle soup I had is not sitting well, so maybe I can't eat today... bleach.

Well, I have been doing more exercise, but that is mostly due to cleaning the house. It works but not by much.

Weight Watchers wise things have been going well. Doing good this week and this will hopefully show up as some decent progress in the weight loss category, or at least I hope that.

I have a line on a job with Verizon and that would be nice if it happened. Here's hoping, so basically things are going well.

Saturday in Review

The weigh in was not all that traumatic. I am down to 254 so 5 pounds down. If I can loose about the same then I will be under 250 for the first time in months. That will be really nice.Weight Watchers works by the whole mindfulness method.

Mindfulness in this case is pretty much just like mindfulness in meditation, a paying attention to your food, instead of your body or breathing. By being aware of your eating and and the points that you consume, you are aware of a number of your eating issues. This will show you if you are focused on sweets, overly large serving sizes and the like. That awareness can help you break through the pattern and get past that. There is a reason mindfulness is a good technique for a lot of things.

So the food thing is in the process of being dealt with so now I really need to start adding exercise. That can give me more points to eat with but more importantly, it can help me get healthy a bit faster. Again not rocket science. Exercise leads to health. Hopefully I can start that, which will be nice.

On the job front, nothing from Wood, so time to check with Verizon and MedSolutions. Past that, I don't know. I am getting pretty frustrated, but I am sure everyone is given how terrible the job market is here in TN. Income will really help and make so many things better.

TGIF

Well, today is the last day of the week and so far the Weight Watchers has gone fairly well. That is a good thing. Yesterday I ended up with half a point of regular points and so I have 2 flex points left. That gives me 32 for the day plus any exercise points I get for house cleaning (maybe 1 or so).

Tomorrow is the weigh in and first chance to see how this is all going. Anything less than 259 will be lovely but I am hoping for a big drop. I remember last time I did this I lost like 8 pounds that first week, so who knows. Being able to get away from 260 is my primary goal. Hell, getting back to 230 will be awesome and it is so strange to say that. So it goes.

Daily Review, Saturday

Well, we weighed in. I was at 259, which was nice but still way too fat for anyone's good. And this was the first day of Weight Watchers and I did so not good, using 21 of my 35 flex points for the week. The only good thing is that I got my 4 points of exercise in while cleaning the house up for the Darkquinox. I actually got about 10 points but you are only allowed to count 4 of them. I am fine with that but I almost feel cheated.

At some point today we are going to take measurements. That will be so fun, but I am aware of how huge I am. It is just depressing to have such a tangible reminder of things. So it goes. However, the shrinking numbers will make me feel better. You have to start somewhere and body awareness can only help in something like this.

I just need to get more exercise, so that I can get back into decent shape. Whee! Anyway, take care. Ciao!