Seder thoughts

A little over 4 months and I have lost 21 pounds. That is awesome. Tonight was Seder and I certainly did not eat as much or in the same ratio as I had before. It was great but a few things came to me out of that.

1. I never told my spell I used to help magnify the effect of hormones to shut up. This is a tremendous duh moment brought about because my bras don't really fit anymore. I am back in 44s but I am no longer a C cup. I am not a fan of wearing bras that are too snug. So that needs to be fixed. I am losing weight but my breasts seem to be getting bigger. A little strange if you ask me.

2. The shields I constructed to kind of insulate me from the works because so much of it was jagged and hurt were made before transition and thus all the changes I have made have not been incorporated into them. So I need to take them completely down and rebuild them, geared more to the way my life is now. My energy has changed and my shields should not be trapping me in as much as keeping me safe.

3. There needs to be a bit of prayer going on, as I need to talk to several deities and see if I can make some sense of some things. Life is crazy and I need to find some better places to stand faith wise. So, more fun prayer and meditation in my future.

4. I need to see if I can use meditation more effectively in dealing with my PTSD. It is something that overwhelms me over and over again and I am tired of it. I just want to work through things and get past it all. It just keeps popping up all the damn time and that bugs the hell out of me.

5. I need a better handle on my muse. She fades in and out but I can see how my lack of doing anything, like exercise or martial arts is bugging her. I need to be in motion so I can hear her better. So I may have to exercise more to write more.

So, that's where I am at the moment. There is probably more, but this takes care of things at the moment. Here's hoping I find some solutions.

Been a while

Wow... it has been a while since I last posted. In that time I have been sick, fluctuated weight wise and basically had a lot of grief from the PTSD. The only good news is that I am down to 246.6 right now. Getting there has mostly been due to being sick and having no appetite. I am just hoping to keep this trend going.

Of course part of the plan is to eat better, more vegetables and having good food made of real food. That is nice and is helping my health, as apart from being sick I do feel better overall. I am okay with that.

Here's hoping that this trend continues.