Well, I have been doing more exercise, but that is mostly due to cleaning the house. It works but not by much.
Weight Watchers wise things have been going well. Doing good this week and this will hopefully show up as some decent progress in the weight loss category, or at least I hope that.
I have a line on a job with Verizon and that would be nice if it happened. Here's hoping, so basically things are going well.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Daily Review, Saturday
Well, I gained 3 pounds, which is irritating, but so it goes. Here is hoping this week doesn't suck as much as last week.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Le Whine
Well, this week has sucked royally. Between stress and migraines and other pain, I have exercised little and eaten more. There were several days of major stress eating. I am trying to be good but some days it isn't easy.
That is going to be the hardest part of this Jihad, the working through such things and staying on points. I know it won't be easy and I am kind of dreading my weigh in tomorrow, afraid I have gained back, but so it goes. That's life and there is not much you can do about it except pick your ass back up and keep on going. Quitting isn't really an option if you want to live. You gotta live life on your feet and moving forward.
Sounds easy but it is not as easy as most people think.
That is going to be the hardest part of this Jihad, the working through such things and staying on points. I know it won't be easy and I am kind of dreading my weigh in tomorrow, afraid I have gained back, but so it goes. That's life and there is not much you can do about it except pick your ass back up and keep on going. Quitting isn't really an option if you want to live. You gotta live life on your feet and moving forward.
Sounds easy but it is not as easy as most people think.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Today was made of fail
Since I spent a good chunk of hours in an ER today due to a massive migraine, I decided that I was going to say to hell with points and just eat. Purely for medicinal purposes only.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Two days for the price of none
Sunday was pretty good except for the stress eating at the end of the day. But the food was purely for medicinal purpose only. Purely.
Today was a hell of a lot better. I earned some points doing T'ai Chi and stayed within them. That was good. Being able to have spaghetti and meatballs was a nice treat. We even had Garlic bread.
The sauce was great. I caramelized some onions in olive oil with some chili flakes. Then came the 5 cloves of garlic. When the onions were a deep golden color I added the wine. After that cooked off some, then the tomatoes. Lastly the jar of basic sauce are herbs. It was excellent.
Today was a hell of a lot better. I earned some points doing T'ai Chi and stayed within them. That was good. Being able to have spaghetti and meatballs was a nice treat. We even had Garlic bread.
The sauce was great. I caramelized some onions in olive oil with some chili flakes. Then came the 5 cloves of garlic. When the onions were a deep golden color I added the wine. After that cooked off some, then the tomatoes. Lastly the jar of basic sauce are herbs. It was excellent.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday in Review
The weigh in was not all that traumatic. I am down to 254 so 5 pounds down. If I can loose about the same then I will be under 250 for the first time in months. That will be really nice.Weight Watchers works by the whole mindfulness method.
Mindfulness in this case is pretty much just like mindfulness in meditation, a paying attention to your food, instead of your body or breathing. By being aware of your eating and and the points that you consume, you are aware of a number of your eating issues. This will show you if you are focused on sweets, overly large serving sizes and the like. That awareness can help you break through the pattern and get past that. There is a reason mindfulness is a good technique for a lot of things.
So the food thing is in the process of being dealt with so now I really need to start adding exercise. That can give me more points to eat with but more importantly, it can help me get healthy a bit faster. Again not rocket science. Exercise leads to health. Hopefully I can start that, which will be nice.
On the job front, nothing from Wood, so time to check with Verizon and MedSolutions. Past that, I don't know. I am getting pretty frustrated, but I am sure everyone is given how terrible the job market is here in TN. Income will really help and make so many things better.
Mindfulness in this case is pretty much just like mindfulness in meditation, a paying attention to your food, instead of your body or breathing. By being aware of your eating and and the points that you consume, you are aware of a number of your eating issues. This will show you if you are focused on sweets, overly large serving sizes and the like. That awareness can help you break through the pattern and get past that. There is a reason mindfulness is a good technique for a lot of things.
So the food thing is in the process of being dealt with so now I really need to start adding exercise. That can give me more points to eat with but more importantly, it can help me get healthy a bit faster. Again not rocket science. Exercise leads to health. Hopefully I can start that, which will be nice.
On the job front, nothing from Wood, so time to check with Verizon and MedSolutions. Past that, I don't know. I am getting pretty frustrated, but I am sure everyone is given how terrible the job market is here in TN. Income will really help and make so many things better.
Friday, March 19, 2010
TGIF
Well, today is the last day of the week and so far the Weight Watchers has gone fairly well. That is a good thing. Yesterday I ended up with half a point of regular points and so I have 2 flex points left. That gives me 32 for the day plus any exercise points I get for house cleaning (maybe 1 or so).
Tomorrow is the weigh in and first chance to see how this is all going. Anything less than 259 will be lovely but I am hoping for a big drop. I remember last time I did this I lost like 8 pounds that first week, so who knows. Being able to get away from 260 is my primary goal. Hell, getting back to 230 will be awesome and it is so strange to say that. So it goes.
Tomorrow is the weigh in and first chance to see how this is all going. Anything less than 259 will be lovely but I am hoping for a big drop. I remember last time I did this I lost like 8 pounds that first week, so who knows. Being able to get away from 260 is my primary goal. Hell, getting back to 230 will be awesome and it is so strange to say that. So it goes.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
St. Paddy's
St. Paddy's turned out to be a bad food day, but that is because I ate one of the prepackaged Yakisoba noodles. 12 points for something with a fairly blah taste, even after I tricked it out. Enough cleaning for some exercise, but again not much.
This prepackaged thing really bugged me. The packaging was listed as 2 servings for a single container. This isn't something that is meant to be shared with others so I was a bit bent to realize that a huge chunk of points were washed right down the drain with that. I really think for things like that the packaging should reflect the fact that it is going to be eaten by one person in one sitting.
It's like cokes and stuff, listing 2.5 servings per 20 oz bottle, when that is clearly going to be consumed probably at one sitting. Thankfully I saw a 16 oz coke with a full bottle label data. That was almost refreshing, pun intended. You know the whole Coke refreshing ad campaign... sigh...
Anyway, with obesity being such a major issue in this nation shouldn't labeling be more consumer friendly rather than company friendly? Granted it is basic math, but to be able to hold the bottle and see how many calories and such you are holding is a hell of a wake up. It is good marketing to break it into individual servings that few is any follow but realistic labeling would point out just how bad some of this crap is for you and that could be bad for business. Soft drinks alone are a huge market with a whole lot of money coming in. To label what things really are might dent profits and we know how unamerican that is. It is almost a crime to want to lower profits in the interest of health.
The fact that the soda industry has also pushed the high fructose corn syrup market, making it the number one additive to most everything, is another hit against your health. I read somewhere that soda and specifically the HFCS causes damage to the pancreas, which can lead to systemic issues. We have basically sweetened our way into bad health.
Now, I am not really all that enamored with sweets. Natural sweeteners in certain foods is generally pretty good for me, though chocolate is worth the sweet. But how many of those use the straight HFCS? Well, more than you might think and that disturbs me. So many things are sweetened with it that the total accumulation you can get from one meal is staggering. Straight sugar is bad enough but this stuff is far worse.
Maybe we can start getting foods that are not sweetened to within an inch of their lives? One of the reasons I prefer real Chinese food to American Chinese food is the sugar. Many of the Chinese dishes aren't that sweet but the American market almost demands it. Just ewwww...
So... anyway... I hope you had a good St. Paddy's and stuff.
This prepackaged thing really bugged me. The packaging was listed as 2 servings for a single container. This isn't something that is meant to be shared with others so I was a bit bent to realize that a huge chunk of points were washed right down the drain with that. I really think for things like that the packaging should reflect the fact that it is going to be eaten by one person in one sitting.
It's like cokes and stuff, listing 2.5 servings per 20 oz bottle, when that is clearly going to be consumed probably at one sitting. Thankfully I saw a 16 oz coke with a full bottle label data. That was almost refreshing, pun intended. You know the whole Coke refreshing ad campaign... sigh...
Anyway, with obesity being such a major issue in this nation shouldn't labeling be more consumer friendly rather than company friendly? Granted it is basic math, but to be able to hold the bottle and see how many calories and such you are holding is a hell of a wake up. It is good marketing to break it into individual servings that few is any follow but realistic labeling would point out just how bad some of this crap is for you and that could be bad for business. Soft drinks alone are a huge market with a whole lot of money coming in. To label what things really are might dent profits and we know how unamerican that is. It is almost a crime to want to lower profits in the interest of health.
The fact that the soda industry has also pushed the high fructose corn syrup market, making it the number one additive to most everything, is another hit against your health. I read somewhere that soda and specifically the HFCS causes damage to the pancreas, which can lead to systemic issues. We have basically sweetened our way into bad health.
Now, I am not really all that enamored with sweets. Natural sweeteners in certain foods is generally pretty good for me, though chocolate is worth the sweet. But how many of those use the straight HFCS? Well, more than you might think and that disturbs me. So many things are sweetened with it that the total accumulation you can get from one meal is staggering. Straight sugar is bad enough but this stuff is far worse.
Maybe we can start getting foods that are not sweetened to within an inch of their lives? One of the reasons I prefer real Chinese food to American Chinese food is the sugar. Many of the Chinese dishes aren't that sweet but the American market almost demands it. Just ewwww...
So... anyway... I hope you had a good St. Paddy's and stuff.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Day in review, Tuesday
Let's see... Monday went well... a little exercise, staying mostly in points, all good. Today, went over on points but a chocolate chip cookie and a glass of milk were worth it. I also went to a pain management group today in Nashville. It might be helpful as the woman leading it is mixing western and eastern approaches. Should be interesting.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Daily Review, Sunday
Yesterday was pretty good. I only did a little exercise but that worked out well. I managed to stay on points really well, so that was nice. I am really hoping that I can drop this weight as it is like carrying around Katie all the time. I may not get back to 155 but I can certainly aim for it. So it goes.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Daily Review, Saturday
Well, we weighed in. I was at 259, which was nice but still way too fat for anyone's good. And this was the first day of Weight Watchers and I did so not good, using 21 of my 35 flex points for the week. The only good thing is that I got my 4 points of exercise in while cleaning the house up for the Darkquinox. I actually got about 10 points but you are only allowed to count 4 of them. I am fine with that but I almost feel cheated.
At some point today we are going to take measurements. That will be so fun, but I am aware of how huge I am. It is just depressing to have such a tangible reminder of things. So it goes. However, the shrinking numbers will make me feel better. You have to start somewhere and body awareness can only help in something like this.
I just need to get more exercise, so that I can get back into decent shape. Whee! Anyway, take care. Ciao!
At some point today we are going to take measurements. That will be so fun, but I am aware of how huge I am. It is just depressing to have such a tangible reminder of things. So it goes. However, the shrinking numbers will make me feel better. You have to start somewhere and body awareness can only help in something like this.
I just need to get more exercise, so that I can get back into decent shape. Whee! Anyway, take care. Ciao!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Starting WW
Well, the anniversary was awesome. We ate at Bonefish grill and then went to Arrington Winery for a tasting. It was a lot of fun and it was a nice day overall. Granted, today I had to do a lot of housework, which does mostly count as exercise. It took a few hours but I did get a huge amount of the house clean.
Today we are starting with the Weight Watcher program. I lost over 20 pounds on that program and that was before I was given Remeron and it caused me to swell up. That sucked but the program did work for my Beloved and I. It isn't the most complex system around, just mindful eating and exercising. The point tracking does make you conscious of the food you are consuming and that is often all you need to lose the weight. It works if you stay motivated. This blog is supposed to help with that. :)
As for exercise, well we have talked about that and I do hope that I can manage to lose what I need to and get back into something that resembles shape. It certainly couldn't hurt.
Today we are starting with the Weight Watcher program. I lost over 20 pounds on that program and that was before I was given Remeron and it caused me to swell up. That sucked but the program did work for my Beloved and I. It isn't the most complex system around, just mindful eating and exercising. The point tracking does make you conscious of the food you are consuming and that is often all you need to lose the weight. It works if you stay motivated. This blog is supposed to help with that. :)
As for exercise, well we have talked about that and I do hope that I can manage to lose what I need to and get back into something that resembles shape. It certainly couldn't hurt.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Day in review, Wednesday
Today was okay for the most part. The sex was great but slamming my knee into the corner of the desk majorly sucked. I am still hobbling. Wah! Here is hoping tomorrow is better.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Day in review, Tuesday
Well... today was pretty good. I am getting a CPAP machine and hopefully that will help with my sleep issues. Worked on the diet stuff with the wife and we even walked some, which was nice. Thursday I go to finish up what I need for a job. So, that was fun. It was a good day.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Quick Hello
This is just a quick hello to all our NSA readers. A'saalam Alekum. Have fun, enjoy the read and let me know if you have any national security concerns.
Peace
Peace
The Problem with Weight Loss
Okay, so what is going on with me and weight loss? I can’t seem to get motivated to begin and keep going. It isn’t like weight loss is all that mysterious or strange, eating better, healthier and exercising. This isn’t rocket science but I really don’t seem to driven to change. Why?
I figure part of the problem is my self-perception. For the longest time I hated myself and hated my body, thanks to the trans thing. I still have issues with my body, at least one part and that does keep some of those feelings lingering, like my body isn’t worth the effort to keep healthy and to lose weight. This is of course amazingly stupid but who ever said the psyche ever made any sense. It isn’t my body’s fault that I was born male nor is it my body’s fault that I am mentally female. Things just sort of worked out that way.
Honestly, I should take care of my body now that I am a good way down the path of transition. My body is starting to match myself finally and I shouldn’t let one small body part derail all the other good things have happened. Hopefully I can get past that as being healthy can make surgery easier on my body and will make healing from that easier.
As for exercise… well, I know lots of exercise knowledge. I have done lots of martial arts, PT in the Army and having been on a crosscountry team and a swim team. I know what to do and my body remembers doing those exercises, I just have to do them. Doing stretching, a little Yoga, basic calisthenics, and Tai Chi would be a good start along with walking. I want to get back to swimming as I enjoy it a great deal and it is a great full body exercise. As I lose weight, I can move into more vigorous exercise and martial arts. That will be nice as I really do miss doing more of that.
As for food… well, I like to eat. Food is a great goodness and my wife is a hell of a cook. I think my biggest issue there is the amount I eat. I do eat several portions at the same time, especially in things I like, which is honestly most things. Portion control is more of my issue than what I eat. I am not really a big dessert eater so that isn’t where I am getting the influx of calories. But eating a bit smarter might help with the weight loss thing as well, especially if I can actually eat more vegetables and fruits. Actually, I am certain I don’t eat enough fruit so that should probably change.
I am rather partial to the meditrasian diet, as a lot of my favorite foods come from those regions. Sticking with whole grain pasta and maybe more brown rice would help a bit more and I actually like both. Maybe trying some of the Asian noodle variations like buckwheat pasta and the like would be good as well. I don’t know. The wife and I need to talk about that. Eating more fish would be good as well and less red meat. I mean, sure, steak every once in a while, but I do like chicken and fish a lot, with some meals being basically vegetarian. Gotta try something at this point.
I am just hoping that I can actually keep focus in this. I know that most any food is okay in the right portions and such, but I am worried about sticking to that. I am hoping that this works out for a change and that I can actually get past this. I hate being this weight, but I guess it does serve me right. I was pretty smug about being thin when my mother and brother and sister were all obese. Now, both my brother and sister are lighter than me, which is freaky. I have no idea if my mother has lost any weight, but I kind of doubt it. So, if that is a part of this, guys I am sorry for feeling that way about you. It was unkind and uncalled for.
Well, I hope that things can start to change starting Wednesday. If we can get the damn shopping list together and such, maybe. I just am tired of being fat. Ever since I started HRT I have swelled nearly non-stop. This is just sad.
Any way… you have to start somewhere… right?
I figure part of the problem is my self-perception. For the longest time I hated myself and hated my body, thanks to the trans thing. I still have issues with my body, at least one part and that does keep some of those feelings lingering, like my body isn’t worth the effort to keep healthy and to lose weight. This is of course amazingly stupid but who ever said the psyche ever made any sense. It isn’t my body’s fault that I was born male nor is it my body’s fault that I am mentally female. Things just sort of worked out that way.
Honestly, I should take care of my body now that I am a good way down the path of transition. My body is starting to match myself finally and I shouldn’t let one small body part derail all the other good things have happened. Hopefully I can get past that as being healthy can make surgery easier on my body and will make healing from that easier.
As for exercise… well, I know lots of exercise knowledge. I have done lots of martial arts, PT in the Army and having been on a crosscountry team and a swim team. I know what to do and my body remembers doing those exercises, I just have to do them. Doing stretching, a little Yoga, basic calisthenics, and Tai Chi would be a good start along with walking. I want to get back to swimming as I enjoy it a great deal and it is a great full body exercise. As I lose weight, I can move into more vigorous exercise and martial arts. That will be nice as I really do miss doing more of that.
As for food… well, I like to eat. Food is a great goodness and my wife is a hell of a cook. I think my biggest issue there is the amount I eat. I do eat several portions at the same time, especially in things I like, which is honestly most things. Portion control is more of my issue than what I eat. I am not really a big dessert eater so that isn’t where I am getting the influx of calories. But eating a bit smarter might help with the weight loss thing as well, especially if I can actually eat more vegetables and fruits. Actually, I am certain I don’t eat enough fruit so that should probably change.
I am rather partial to the meditrasian diet, as a lot of my favorite foods come from those regions. Sticking with whole grain pasta and maybe more brown rice would help a bit more and I actually like both. Maybe trying some of the Asian noodle variations like buckwheat pasta and the like would be good as well. I don’t know. The wife and I need to talk about that. Eating more fish would be good as well and less red meat. I mean, sure, steak every once in a while, but I do like chicken and fish a lot, with some meals being basically vegetarian. Gotta try something at this point.
I am just hoping that I can actually keep focus in this. I know that most any food is okay in the right portions and such, but I am worried about sticking to that. I am hoping that this works out for a change and that I can actually get past this. I hate being this weight, but I guess it does serve me right. I was pretty smug about being thin when my mother and brother and sister were all obese. Now, both my brother and sister are lighter than me, which is freaky. I have no idea if my mother has lost any weight, but I kind of doubt it. So, if that is a part of this, guys I am sorry for feeling that way about you. It was unkind and uncalled for.
Well, I hope that things can start to change starting Wednesday. If we can get the damn shopping list together and such, maybe. I just am tired of being fat. Ever since I started HRT I have swelled nearly non-stop. This is just sad.
Any way… you have to start somewhere… right?
Day in review, Monday
Well, my health is a bit shaky again, as I am suffering from the exhaustion and some bouts of coughing like I did when the whooping cough was in full swing. When it hits it is like anything that resembles energy drains out of me and I am left fairly limp. Not a good thing. That becomes a stumbling block in this quest and really irritates me.
I did get some cleaning done before it got too strong but not as much as I wanted. But some is better than none. I also hung up my clothes, which I usually don't do, so that was a good thing as well.
I have a sleep doc appointment tomorrow and hopefully I can get the CPAP machine I have been told that I need. Maybe getting better sleep will help with losing weight as it should help with the energy thing. At this point it can't really hurt. Then, if I have time, I am going to check on getting a job. Income will be a lovely thing. If I cannot get in tomorrow then Thursday is the next day they have open for me to come in. Makes me a bit crazy all in all, but what can you do. The job I want is working as a CSR for a company that makes cooking supplies, like deep friers and the like. I think I can handle that. The money would be good, which I can also live with and if the company likes me I go from temp to full hire. I can live with that as well.
I did get some cleaning done before it got too strong but not as much as I wanted. But some is better than none. I also hung up my clothes, which I usually don't do, so that was a good thing as well.
I have a sleep doc appointment tomorrow and hopefully I can get the CPAP machine I have been told that I need. Maybe getting better sleep will help with losing weight as it should help with the energy thing. At this point it can't really hurt. Then, if I have time, I am going to check on getting a job. Income will be a lovely thing. If I cannot get in tomorrow then Thursday is the next day they have open for me to come in. Makes me a bit crazy all in all, but what can you do. The job I want is working as a CSR for a company that makes cooking supplies, like deep friers and the like. I think I can handle that. The money would be good, which I can also live with and if the company likes me I go from temp to full hire. I can live with that as well.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Freaking out isn't fun to do
I have determined that Panic Attacks are not good for you and make you feel out of sorts and like crap the rest of the day. Today, talking to my new shrink about my old Unit in the Army got me set off, needed two doses of anti-anxiety meds and just a whole day of recuperation. So amazingly not fun.
Food wise, not too bad. No real exercise to speak of. So pretty much a blah day all in all. Now I think I will take a shower and pass out again. I am tired and just off. Bed might be a mercy.
Food wise, not too bad. No real exercise to speak of. So pretty much a blah day all in all. Now I think I will take a shower and pass out again. I am tired and just off. Bed might be a mercy.
Day in review
Still very sore and tired from the road trip. Had a big sushi lunch and little other food, but I ate a huge amount of food, so that works out.
I have been a bit out of it, unable to really write so that is why this is so short. Sorry. I want to talk about a few other things, but I am out of it.
I have been a bit out of it, unable to really write so that is why this is so short. Sorry. I want to talk about a few other things, but I am out of it.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Long and Winding Road
Sorry I haven't written much lately, but so what... neither has Shakespeare.
Took a short jaunt to Kent State University, a brisk 10+ hour drive. Whee. I am so tired but it was a good and informative trip. Ate more food than I think is good for anyone, but then again CrazyQuilts could be a feeder and feels better for making you eat it all.
So, back to the grind come morning.
Took a short jaunt to Kent State University, a brisk 10+ hour drive. Whee. I am so tired but it was a good and informative trip. Ate more food than I think is good for anyone, but then again CrazyQuilts could be a feeder and feels better for making you eat it all.
So, back to the grind come morning.
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