Thursday, July 23, 2015
Wow... it's been a while since I have posted here. I might keep this blog going as well, as there are different links that I can write about, since this is more faith and stuff related where my writing blog is more just writing. And the travel blog is again, just a travel blog. Sheesh... so much to do, so much to write.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Once more unto the breach dear friends...
It's been a long time since I have posted. Life is as it has been, crazy.
School is going well class wise. I am pulling up the averages for Methods and Statistics, which has been a lot of work. Where things are not going well is in getting into the program I wanted. That has not gone well.
I think I agree with Cindy's idea that if I take classes in the Spring and reapply that I can increase my odds, because I will have the pre-req classes already done and I wont have to stress about that. Also if I have to retake the GRE that can give me time to prepare and go for it. The trick lies in getting the VA to go with the plan, which would involve me actually taking classes in the subject while seeing if I can get into the program. I would also apply for other programs in the area, as that might turn out to be what works. So it goes.
Health wise, I am healthier right now, and in a bit better shape. I need to get into better shape and I am working on it. The swimming all the time hasn't worked out as I got thrown off when I was really sick for two weeks and I have been to frazzled to go back, what with the Interview for the program and the fact that I had to put Kerridwen to sleep. So October has been a fairly crappy month for me overall.
Weight wise... not good. I am trying to take a new approach, of ignoring the weight and focusing on exercise and trying to eat better. The eating better is the tough part because I need to figure out what works for weight loss and the fact that I like to eat tasty food. So that struggle continues.
Faith wise I feel conflicted. I am unsure where to turn or go as I feel this big hollow inside and I have been feeling it for a while. It is like I have lost my faith and belief in most things but not exactly. I am trying to figure this out as it really is impacting things with me as I feel like something is missing and I am disconnected from the world. Not a good place to be.
The Tegan story is near the end and it is making me a bit crazy as this part Underhill is really tough to write. I need to finish the bit with the Queen, write the confrontation, riddle contest and then the reunion. I also like the idea of introducing the bad guys at the end when the Seer warns Erish that the person she saw in her vision has arrived. That can hopefully drive things forward. I want to finish the write and the edit over November, as a odd sort of Nano. Works for me.
School is going well class wise. I am pulling up the averages for Methods and Statistics, which has been a lot of work. Where things are not going well is in getting into the program I wanted. That has not gone well.
I think I agree with Cindy's idea that if I take classes in the Spring and reapply that I can increase my odds, because I will have the pre-req classes already done and I wont have to stress about that. Also if I have to retake the GRE that can give me time to prepare and go for it. The trick lies in getting the VA to go with the plan, which would involve me actually taking classes in the subject while seeing if I can get into the program. I would also apply for other programs in the area, as that might turn out to be what works. So it goes.
Health wise, I am healthier right now, and in a bit better shape. I need to get into better shape and I am working on it. The swimming all the time hasn't worked out as I got thrown off when I was really sick for two weeks and I have been to frazzled to go back, what with the Interview for the program and the fact that I had to put Kerridwen to sleep. So October has been a fairly crappy month for me overall.
Weight wise... not good. I am trying to take a new approach, of ignoring the weight and focusing on exercise and trying to eat better. The eating better is the tough part because I need to figure out what works for weight loss and the fact that I like to eat tasty food. So that struggle continues.
Faith wise I feel conflicted. I am unsure where to turn or go as I feel this big hollow inside and I have been feeling it for a while. It is like I have lost my faith and belief in most things but not exactly. I am trying to figure this out as it really is impacting things with me as I feel like something is missing and I am disconnected from the world. Not a good place to be.
The Tegan story is near the end and it is making me a bit crazy as this part Underhill is really tough to write. I need to finish the bit with the Queen, write the confrontation, riddle contest and then the reunion. I also like the idea of introducing the bad guys at the end when the Seer warns Erish that the person she saw in her vision has arrived. That can hopefully drive things forward. I want to finish the write and the edit over November, as a odd sort of Nano. Works for me.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Update
So, I started classes at 256 and tomorrow I will weigh myself. I have been a hell of a lot more active this week, walking to and from the car as well as doing Chi Gong and Tai Chi 2x a week. That will be good for me. The other plan I had, of swimming on MWF didn't happen because of the neck surgery I had. That threw a wrench into the works. This coming week I am hoping to up my exercise and reduce my eating.
I know that for the last week I have been eating more because of surgery and it was helping with recuperation. However I can already tell that my hunger has down shifted back to normal, for which I am pleased. Now if I can get exercise and eating back on track I am hoping to lose about 8-10 lbs a month this semester. That would be great and I would really love that. Dropping 32-40 pounds will have a huge effect on my health. I want to succeed at that. like a whole hell of a lot.
My shoulder doesn't hurt as much anymore, thanks to the RF treatments. This enables me to exercise more and hopefully get more done. I am a big fan of this. Here is hoping I get healthier and healthier.
Cindy said that she was going to exercise as well and I have hopes for the both of us, so that we can be healthy and around for along time.
I know that for the last week I have been eating more because of surgery and it was helping with recuperation. However I can already tell that my hunger has down shifted back to normal, for which I am pleased. Now if I can get exercise and eating back on track I am hoping to lose about 8-10 lbs a month this semester. That would be great and I would really love that. Dropping 32-40 pounds will have a huge effect on my health. I want to succeed at that. like a whole hell of a lot.
My shoulder doesn't hurt as much anymore, thanks to the RF treatments. This enables me to exercise more and hopefully get more done. I am a big fan of this. Here is hoping I get healthier and healthier.
Cindy said that she was going to exercise as well and I have hopes for the both of us, so that we can be healthy and around for along time.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Return of the Jihad
Okay... it has been a while hasn't it. Heh...
So... I am at 255 weight wise, which sucks but in a way I am not surprised. There have been no real lifestyle changes pretty much ever. I got down to 245 and then stumbled back up. so, this sucks.
I am unsure what to do. I almost feel like I am trapped by a sense of learned helplessness and despair, that I am stuck with thought and life patterns from pre-transition as well as fallout from being sick for about two years. I became massively sedentary and now I am living out one of those basic laws of physics: Laws at Rest tend to stay at rest.
So I am at rest, and even though I KNOW that I need to exercise and do stuff but I find myself stymied at every turn. That is problematic, massively so. I am able to write but even then I have a varying desire to do so. Part of that is tied to the new twitchiness in my left shoulder. That really killed more of my drive as it felt like things were failing in my life more and more.
I am attempting to fix this but again I am fighting against being massively at rest.
Here's hoping it works.
So... I am at 255 weight wise, which sucks but in a way I am not surprised. There have been no real lifestyle changes pretty much ever. I got down to 245 and then stumbled back up. so, this sucks.
I am unsure what to do. I almost feel like I am trapped by a sense of learned helplessness and despair, that I am stuck with thought and life patterns from pre-transition as well as fallout from being sick for about two years. I became massively sedentary and now I am living out one of those basic laws of physics: Laws at Rest tend to stay at rest.
So I am at rest, and even though I KNOW that I need to exercise and do stuff but I find myself stymied at every turn. That is problematic, massively so. I am able to write but even then I have a varying desire to do so. Part of that is tied to the new twitchiness in my left shoulder. That really killed more of my drive as it felt like things were failing in my life more and more.
I am attempting to fix this but again I am fighting against being massively at rest.
Here's hoping it works.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Seder thoughts
A little over 4 months and I have lost 21 pounds. That is awesome. Tonight was Seder and I certainly did not eat as much or in the same ratio as I had before. It was great but a few things came to me out of that.
1. I never told my spell I used to help magnify the effect of hormones to shut up. This is a tremendous duh moment brought about because my bras don't really fit anymore. I am back in 44s but I am no longer a C cup. I am not a fan of wearing bras that are too snug. So that needs to be fixed. I am losing weight but my breasts seem to be getting bigger. A little strange if you ask me.
2. The shields I constructed to kind of insulate me from the works because so much of it was jagged and hurt were made before transition and thus all the changes I have made have not been incorporated into them. So I need to take them completely down and rebuild them, geared more to the way my life is now. My energy has changed and my shields should not be trapping me in as much as keeping me safe.
3. There needs to be a bit of prayer going on, as I need to talk to several deities and see if I can make some sense of some things. Life is crazy and I need to find some better places to stand faith wise. So, more fun prayer and meditation in my future.
4. I need to see if I can use meditation more effectively in dealing with my PTSD. It is something that overwhelms me over and over again and I am tired of it. I just want to work through things and get past it all. It just keeps popping up all the damn time and that bugs the hell out of me.
5. I need a better handle on my muse. She fades in and out but I can see how my lack of doing anything, like exercise or martial arts is bugging her. I need to be in motion so I can hear her better. So I may have to exercise more to write more.
So, that's where I am at the moment. There is probably more, but this takes care of things at the moment. Here's hoping I find some solutions.
1. I never told my spell I used to help magnify the effect of hormones to shut up. This is a tremendous duh moment brought about because my bras don't really fit anymore. I am back in 44s but I am no longer a C cup. I am not a fan of wearing bras that are too snug. So that needs to be fixed. I am losing weight but my breasts seem to be getting bigger. A little strange if you ask me.
2. The shields I constructed to kind of insulate me from the works because so much of it was jagged and hurt were made before transition and thus all the changes I have made have not been incorporated into them. So I need to take them completely down and rebuild them, geared more to the way my life is now. My energy has changed and my shields should not be trapping me in as much as keeping me safe.
3. There needs to be a bit of prayer going on, as I need to talk to several deities and see if I can make some sense of some things. Life is crazy and I need to find some better places to stand faith wise. So, more fun prayer and meditation in my future.
4. I need to see if I can use meditation more effectively in dealing with my PTSD. It is something that overwhelms me over and over again and I am tired of it. I just want to work through things and get past it all. It just keeps popping up all the damn time and that bugs the hell out of me.
5. I need a better handle on my muse. She fades in and out but I can see how my lack of doing anything, like exercise or martial arts is bugging her. I need to be in motion so I can hear her better. So I may have to exercise more to write more.
So, that's where I am at the moment. There is probably more, but this takes care of things at the moment. Here's hoping I find some solutions.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Been a while
Wow... it has been a while since I last posted. In that time I have been sick, fluctuated weight wise and basically had a lot of grief from the PTSD. The only good news is that I am down to 246.6 right now. Getting there has mostly been due to being sick and having no appetite. I am just hoping to keep this trend going.
Of course part of the plan is to eat better, more vegetables and having good food made of real food. That is nice and is helping my health, as apart from being sick I do feel better overall. I am okay with that.
Here's hoping that this trend continues.
Of course part of the plan is to eat better, more vegetables and having good food made of real food. That is nice and is helping my health, as apart from being sick I do feel better overall. I am okay with that.
Here's hoping that this trend continues.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Must be a Thursday...
Still not sleeping well and having headaches. I am so tired of this already. A few times this has caused me to eat more than I needed to and that bugs me. I have been losing but it hasn't been going great. So it goes.
Anyway...
Wednesday 2 February 2011
Week 3
Start Weight: 255.2
Weigh in: 254.8 Total Loss: Wk .4
Points allowed: 38 Mo 0
Extra Points: 41 Overall 13.6
Exercise Points: 0
Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5
Breakfast: 2 eggs 4 points
1 piece toast 1 points
1 c Irish Breakfast Tea 0 points
1 tsp Honey 1 point
Total 6 points
Points Left: 32
Lunch: Sandwich 4 points
Coffee 0 points
Sugar in the Raw (2 tsp) 0 points
Total 4 points
Points Left: 28
Dinner: Burger 10 points
Oven Fries 6 Points
Ice Cream 3 points
Total 19 points
Points Left: 9
Snack: Pear 0 points
Peanut Butter Sand 3 points
1 c Milk 4 points
Total 7 points
Points Left: 2
Exercise: Housework (10 min/ light) 1 points
Total + 1 points
Daily Total: 2
Extra Points Carry over: 41
Exercise Points Carry over: 1
Anyway...
Wednesday 2 February 2011
Week 3
Start Weight: 255.2
Weigh in: 254.8 Total Loss: Wk .4
Points allowed: 38 Mo 0
Extra Points: 41 Overall 13.6
Exercise Points: 0
Measurements:
Bust 55.5 Panties: 9
Waist 49.75 Pants: 26
Hips 53 Top: 20
Arms 14.5 Bra 46 D
Thigh 27.5
Breakfast: 2 eggs 4 points
1 piece toast 1 points
1 c Irish Breakfast Tea 0 points
1 tsp Honey 1 point
Total 6 points
Points Left: 32
Lunch: Sandwich 4 points
Coffee 0 points
Sugar in the Raw (2 tsp) 0 points
Total 4 points
Points Left: 28
Dinner: Burger 10 points
Oven Fries 6 Points
Ice Cream 3 points
Total 19 points
Points Left: 9
Snack: Pear 0 points
Peanut Butter Sand 3 points
1 c Milk 4 points
Total 7 points
Points Left: 2
Exercise: Housework (10 min/ light) 1 points
Total + 1 points
Daily Total: 2
Extra Points Carry over: 41
Exercise Points Carry over: 1
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